Category Archives: humor

The Storyteller’s Gift

Mom is a natural born storyteller.

She was raised on stories by her mom, aunts and great aunts.

She raised my sister and me on her stories.

She raised my two daughters on her stories, and to this day, she mesmerizes my six grandchildren with her stories … and her songs.

Her stories have now blended into one story.

No more beginning.

No more middle.

No more end.

One story.

One glorious story.

It is the story of  life lived to the fullest.

And, if we listen and observe close enough, it will become part of our stories, too.

It is a collection of bits and pieces, wisdom and scraps, insights and mysteries, lessons learned and lessons lost … all floating together, in infinite ways, as if drifting down a stream.

It’s all there for all of us.

All we have to do is bare our souls, jump in, and go with the flow.

Only by immersing ourselves into its depths will we find the meaning.

In all of its glory.

One story.

Our story.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream.

 

Low Flying Snow Angel

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When the bell brought in Midwinter
I waited for a sign
A shadow, of a wing
This has always been

The children know this,
That she will come to them
To them
To them

Snow Angel, Snow Angel, Snow Angel 
She’ll make her way
And she’ll stay
For a time, for a time – Tori Amos

Spotted … low flying Snow Angel.

Not a drone.

I repeat, not a drone.

Throw mom some snow, and she’s ready fo’ mo’.

She can’t get enough of this ice cold fluffy stuff.

She did tell me, in a not so angelic way, not to put snow down her pants.

This is the least of your worries, Snow Angel, after all, you are my mom!

Even the thought of that makes me want to dig a hole in the snow and hide f-o-r-e-v-e-r!

Snow Angel, Snow Angel, Snow Angel 
She’ll make her way
And she’ll stay
For a time, for a time

Smile Angel

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I have a deep belief in us, the staff, and what we can do collectively. We can and do make a huge difference in the lives of families who want to honor their commitment of love and keeping their loved ones close. It is a promise they will always remember, with stories about Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, to share with each other into the future.

I also have a deep and abiding belief in Circle Center Adult Day Services’ mission. What we are doing really matters. We can impact the way each participant lives out the latter parts of their lives. We offer relationship, acceptance and affection. – Ann Spinks

Circle Center Adult Day Services‘ (I call it Heaven on Earth) band of Earth Angels is a collection of some best caregivers on this planet (or for all I know, in this universe). Armed with invisible (to mere mortals) Hot Wings, they are everywhere they need to be, doing whatever needs to be done to make sure our loved ones are indeed loved and cared for. And … they take care of family caregivers as well.

My mom and I love these ever vigilant Earth Angels. And, they love us.

Here’s the latest news from Heaven on Earth: Ann Spinks, Circle Center’s one of a kind Smile Angel, is turning in her Hot Wings to follow her dreams, untethered, with no road map in mind.

This news is slowly sinking in and I am already having withdrawal symptoms for someone I am addicted to, someone I respect, someone I love.

Ann has been with Circle Center doing her “angel smile thing”, caring for her charges, her fellow angels, and as if that’s not enough, caring for caregivers like me since 1984.

The one thing I will always remember about Ann is her patented smile. It is outrageous. It is contagious. And, it has sure been there for me each and every time I have needed it.

If you don’t believe me, just focus on Ann’s image above for 30 seconds and you will feel the warmth of her spirit and her smile. I guarantee she will turn any frown upside down.

Warning: Don’t get too close to Ann’s image without smearing on a proper amount of sunscreen. She not only radiates warmth, but without proper protection, you could get what can only be described as sunburned. Amazing, but true!

So, here’s the song that I believe was written for and about Ann … When You’re Smiling.

When you’re smilin’ keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you
And when you’re laughin’ oh when youre laughin’
The sun comes shinin’ through

So, spread your wings, Smile Angel! It’s time for you to show the whole world just how incredible your smile can be!

Annie, you and your smile are a sure fire winning combination and will get you anywhere in this world you want to go.

The great big world will smile with …
The whole wide world will smile with you

God speed, Smile Angel. God speed.

A Wiggle in Her Walk

What has gray hair, six legs, and is a music machine?

My mom hopping and bopping down the hall at Circle Center Adult Day Services, also known as Heaven on Earth!

This is what raring to get to where you love to go is all about.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I say one that wiggles while cranking out original tunes is worth a million or more.

The Earth Angels who work at Circle Center care for my mom (and me) like nobody’s business and we love them, one and all.

And the beat goes on!

Somebody Blew It

Icy Morning

I was holding on to mom’s arm for dear life, trying to get her from Point A to Point B … from the house to the car. It was an early morning icy misty mess and my mission was to get mom in the car as fast and safely as possible. I am not going to lie, I wanted to be in that car, too. It was one miserable, icy cold, slippery-when-wet morning!

“What is happening out here?” mom yelled. “This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. I am just going to freeze to death right here.”

“Mom, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, too, but we are not going to die. We just have to keep moving so I can get you in the car safe and sound. What the heck do you think is going on out here, anyway?”

“I think somebody up there is blowing his nose!”

“I think you are right, mom, and he didn’t even say excuse me.”

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. Click on the image to see full report.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 7,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 12 years to get that many views.

Hyper Electrifying! Mom & Her Card!

Hyper Pop-Ups cards are electrifying … no doubt about that!

Lights, sounds and colorful, popup designs, grab all of your senses and never let go.

This fully loaded card was created and designed in Cleveland, Ohio, made in China, and purchased and mailed to mom from Wilmington, North Carolina. In other words, this card had been here, there and everywhere before being opened in Richmond, Virginia by mom on Christmas Day … her birthday.

Mom has literally not put it down since she discovered its magic.

She might be 93, but I bet the card’s batteries run down before her’s.

I think mom could give Honey Boo Boo a run for her money!

Thanks go out to the senders:

My daughter, Tovi

Son-in-law, Chris,

Grand-kids, Thomas, Patrick, Fisher and Livi

Our Santa’s Early Visit

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,

It was a little too early, for the jolly red hatter.

Three days before Christmas:

It took me a few seconds to focus in on the car that had just pulled into mom’s driveway, but the second the driver opened his door, I knew it was “our man”.

When I say “our man”, I mean our very own Santa man was coming for his annual house call at mom’s … a ritual that started way back in the mid-eighties. And, although he was a few days early, I wasn’t one to complain. “Our man” had never missed a year since the day he started coming our way.

My kids grew up sitting on our Santa’s lap. They loved him and he loved them.

Our Santa loved our whole  family. He was devoted to us. He knew everything there was to know about us, and as far as he was concerned, we could do no wrong. There was no room for naughty in our home … only nice.

It started way back when he was the Santa at Regency Mall in Richmond. And, I have to give my mom and sister, Nel, all the credit. After first seeing him in action, they would visit him just about every day he was there and watch, mesmerized, how he interacted with parents, grandparents and kids alike.

To them, he was the Christmas spirit personified.

They not only watched him, but they praised him for the way he gave undivided attention to each and every kid who made it to his knee. No matter how long the line, he never made anyone feel rushed. He made you feel like you were the most special person in the whole wide world, and for that, my mom and sister loved, appreciated and respected him.

As a result of their support and encouragement, he continued to grow to become an even better Santa. A pretender might fool some of the people some of the time, but not my mom and sister. They knew that deep down inside that costume was the true heart of a real Santa.

From that love a bond was formed with our family and our Santa.

Our Santa didn’t get many cheerleaders, especially ones like mom and Nel, because he was expected to spread cheer, not receive it. Not many grownups or kids spend time thinking about how tough a challenge it must be to be him. We are too busy thinking about ourselves.

But, it never fazed our Santa, he was always up for the challenge, always Mr. Ho, Ho, Ho.

He was genuinely interested in what his little admirers wanted or needed. He never complained that no one asked what he wanted or needed … how he was feeling … how he was doing … what it must be like having to meet the tall order expectations of every kid in the world … or, how were the elves, the reindeer,  Mrs. Clause … or what was it like living in the always ice cold North Pole.

Sure, he got tons of cookies and milk … but how many real  thank you notes? Or just good, old fashion how are you doing questions, especially off season.

This is where mom and Nel fit that bill. They were more than Santa’s helpers, they were his supporters, his friends and his cheerleaders. They kept him going and growing!

As pay back, Santa started visiting our entire family on Christmas day … every Christmas day, the entire time my girls were growing up. And, now he spends time with their kids as well, when they come to mom’s for Christmas and her birthday.

His most recent visit marks the 17th consecutive year.

On our Santa’s off days, he plays the role of a mild mannered postal worker (I think all superhero types play mild mannered folks on their off days).

He will be retiring at the end of January after 35 years.

I think being a postal worker has had its advantages in terms of helping him deliver gifts to everyone in the world on one Big Day (This is no place for Post Office delivery jokes  … just remember the rain, sleet or snow part).

When my sister passed away a few years ago after a horrific battle with early-onset Alzheimer’s, we held a memorial service for her at a little, old country church where many of my relatives lay at rest, including my dad.

As I stood before friends and family who had come from near and far, I noticed, three rows from the front, our Santa, dressed as an ordinary, everyday man. I remember his tie making him look a bit uncomfortable.

I literally stopped what I was saying, pointed to him and said, “Look, it’s Santa. Thanks for coming our way, Santa.”

It seemed everyone looked in the direction I was pointing at once, to get a glimpse of this unexpected, world famous celebrity visitor.

Without a word, he raised a finger  to his lips. It was the universal signal for, hush. He didn’t want to confuse any of the kids, or compete in any way with the sole purpose we were all there for.

I got the message loud and clear and went on with our celebration and commemoration of my sister, Nel.

A couple of weeks ago, my eleven year old granddaughter, Livi, left a message on my mobile.

“Hey Daddy Daddy, this is Livi. I was just wondering, was Santa Claus really at Nel’s funeral? ‘Cause that’s what my mommy thinks. And … I hope to see you soon. Bye.”

I really thought hard about my response before returning her call. I didn’t want to blow Santa’s cover, or my granddaughter’s beliefs. Livi was at Nel’s memorial service, but must have missed my “special introduction” all together.

When I got her on the phone, I got right to the point, “Livi, your mom was right. Santa, well …”

Before I could regroup, Livi interrupted, “Daddy, Daddy, it’s all right. I know Santa was there, because he loved Nel. And, he was in disguise because he didn’t want anyone to notice him at her funeral. That was really nice that he came, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, Livi, that was really nice. Really nice.”

After hanging up, I put my finger to my lips.

Then, I wiped my eyes.

It’s Scarf Day, No More, No Less

Mom's Scarf

The notice to caregivers was: Celebrate Scarf Day, tomorrow! Everyone is invited to wear a scarf.

That was all I needed.

The next morning I rummaged through mom’s dresser drawers until I stumbled on the perfect Scarf Day scarf (the only scarf I could find). I wrapped it around her neck and drove her adult daycare, otherwise known as heaven on earth!

I love Circle Center and the angels who work there! If they had an Early Bird Special, I would sign myself up for sometime in the future, right now.

When we arrived, I made sure mom’s scarf was snug around her neck before we made the grand entrance. After inspection, I gave her a big hug and told her just how good looking she was in that scarf. I believe I followed that with one word … HOT!

She looked at me and said, “I know I’m good looking, but that does not mean I am planning on marrying anyone today. No sir. Maybe I will later, but not today!”

Before leaving, I scribbled out the following message and hung it on the bulletin board.

To Whom It May Concern: I know my mom, Helen, is as good looking as they come, but Scarf Day is strictly Scarf Day!

Mom is not planning on marrying anyone today, nor will she be until further notice. Thanks for your understanding and cooperation, Tom  Laughon 

PS – Hanky-panky is strictly off limits!

I’ve Got Your Back

“I was normal once …”

I had the opportunity to be one of nine storytellers who crafted and shared our stories to a live and lively audience at a wonderful theater in Richmond the other night.

Here’s my story, and I’m sticking to it …

AUDIO: I’ve Got Your Back told by Tom Laughon.