Mom’s New Walker

Mom does walk some, but it takes her lots of little steps to make one regular step.

And, when she starts swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane she gives anyone watching a major heart stopping moment.

You just know that little palm is about to make a crash landing and when it does,  you’ll be the one that has to put dear old mom back together again.

I think she would break into 91 pieces. One for every year she has been on this planet. And, she doesn’t come with reconstruction instructions. She doesn’t come with a guarantee or warranty. And I am sure there is a no return policy in place. You broke it you bought it.

So, my wife, Melissa and her mom, Barbara, bought my mom a used walker for just $4.99 at the Salvation Army. Great walker, unbelievable price (cheap, cheap, cheap) and it was indeed going to be both our and mom’s salvation.

Only one little problem. Mom wouldn’t walk with the walker and the walker didn’t seem to want to walk alone. “I have never used anything to help me walk in my life, and I am not going to start now,” she uttered. Finally I told her it was the only way we would allow her to go to the john (her word). No walker. No john.

Nature has a way of lending a helping hand, because when nature calls and the only way your son will let you go to the john is with the walker, you learn how to use the walker! Fast!

So now that the walker is a part of the extended family and goes where the rest of the family does not want to go, it has a name.

We call it Johnny Walker, because that what it does!

Now if we can just teach Johnny Walker how to flush.