On the Other Side of Fear

Following is a message from a friend of mine:

Tom,

I read your blog, Voluntary Leave of Absence, this morning and again now. I figured you had a lot on your plate which is why you had not written publicly for a while.  Life is not a series of merry-merry but a series of merry-merry, ah shit, maybes, commissions and omissions. Grief is always there, not just about losing folks we love but also about mistakes we’ve made, people we’re hurt, failures we’ve had. We can’t deny it, we just ride with it until something positive comes along to help relieve our pain.

It took me a long time to realize I was not omnipotent. I cannot do it alone.  I have strong faith that powers greater than me will help me through rough spots.  A lot of times I relinquish control to them and ask for help to guide me when I cannot guide myself.  Things do get better.  Bad things (and good things) pass. And we change with each passing.  It is up to us, however, to manage our attitudes and responses.

I think grief and trouble make me stronger.  If I weren’t human, I wouldn’t make mistakes. If I didn’t love, I wouldn’t grieve.  I choose to love. And cherish the memories now, not waiting until later. And accept the pain. It hurts a lot. I am so glad I’m not omnipotent. And I’m glad I’m not the same person I was.

A quote I follow all the time is “Everything you always wanted is on the other side of fear.” It is amazing how much that helps me.

Glad you’re back, although in my mind you were never gone.

Best Wishes,

Molly MacBean

Note: Molly MacBean is the Community Liaison for Circle Center Adult Day Services, otherwise know as mom’s favorite hangout in the United States of America (which to mom is bigger than the world). But, Molly is more than a title and a role to me. She has taken a genuine interest in getting to know mom … as mom is and as mom was. She has asked, listened and learned about our family. As you can see from her message above, she has been a caring, kind human, and right there with mom, our family and me on our journey over the past three years.

What Molly is, is my friend.

Speaking of friends, I want to thank all of you who follow my blog, share your thoughts and share my blog with others. I apologize for not thanking each of you personally, but know how much you mean to me. You, too, are a friend of mine.

Friends are who help each other get to the other side of fear. – Tom