Mom’s great grandboys, Thomas, Fisher and Patrick, traveled all the way from their home in Wilmington, North Carolina to Richmond, Virginia to meet the Great Abomination, aka, Mr. Booger Head, aka, Mr. Potato Head.
They had heard about how mom just despised the little guy from the very first time she set eyes on him. And, she certainly hadn’t changed her mind when the boys arrived for a visit.
If you haven’t read my post on Mr. Booger Head and mom, just click HERE.
For the full length movie (2 minutes and 17 seconds), click HERE.
When the boys asked mom if I could take a picture of them with Mr. Booger Head (mom’s name for him) she immediately grabbed the Great Abomination (my name for him) from Thomas’s hand and jerked him up and down like he was a martini being shaken-stirred-shaken,-stirred-shaken-stirred.
Oh, I could add another descriptive … sliced and diced.
“Isn’t he the ugliest thing you have ever seen? He should be thrown in the basement and locked away so he can never come back. Have you ever seen anything like him? His eyes never move. He is an evil man.”
The boys response was laughter and that just egged mom on more.
Right before their eyes, mom threw one of Mr. Booger Head’s ears high into the air and it fell to the floor accompanied by more laughter.
I found myself pulling for the little guy. I had seen that same ear, along with the other one, his nose, mouth, hat, shoes, arms and hands being torn or shaken off by mom so many times, I had lost count.
I knew for certain, plastic surgery was just around the corner.
I suggested to the boys that we should get a restraining order that wouldn’t allow mom to get any closer than twelve feet of Mr. Booger Head.
I thought twelve feet would give mom a chance to yell at him, but not dismember him. After all, sticks and stones were nothing compared to mom’s technique of breaking his bones … and that her words would never hurt him. Especially after being rendered deaf by mom yanking his ears off of his head any chance she could get.
The boys had a ball.
I got my picture.
Mom got a win-win.
She got an audience and she got her man, meaning no sooner than I had clicked the picture, she had yanked the eyes right out of Mr. Booger Head’s head.
“There. You will never be able to look at me again. Now you go lock yourself up. You are the ugliest thing I have ever seen.”
I wish mom hadn’t used that last word. How would you feel if you had just had your eyes yanked out and heard from the yanker a reference to sight. It is just so not right.
Restraining order! Could I please get an restraining order!
All I am asking for is for twelve feet between my 92 year old mom and the Great Abomination … is that too much to ask?
“You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”
My wife, Melissa, is always on the lookout for things to add to mom’s “Toy Box” … things that will keep mom entertained, engaged and challenged. I call them toys for grown up girls and boys. So, when Melissa spotted Mr. Potato Head in Walgreens, she asked me if I thought it was worthy of being in mom’s collection.
My immediate response was that it was plastic, had way too many little parts to keep up with and that mom might try to eat them for a snack.
Melissa deftly countered each of my concerns and in a blink of an eye (mine), we were the proud owner of Mr. Potato Head.
We gave Mr. Potato Head to mom’s caregiver just before leaving town on a rather long business trip and never saw or even followed up on how mom reacted or interacted with her new little tater tot.
This morning, I was reading the newspaper while mom was eating her cereal. It is my “quiet time” and I really treasure those twenty minutes with me, myself and I; my coffee and my paper.
I was only half a cup into my “quiet time” when the sound of silence was shattered.
First I heard mom say, “Look, look at that! Look … it’s a booger. It’s the biggest booger I have ever seen.”
When I looked her way, she was holding Mr. Potato Head in her hands and shaking it with all her might. A tiny plastic pink ear flew through the air followed by an arm.
I was having one of those what-has-mom-done-now moments and was totally focused on finding the booger. Then I realized she was referring to none other than Mr. Potato Head, himself.
“This is the ugliest thing I have ever seen since I was born! You wouldn’t want to be kin to it. Look at that face. You are not in my family. We have got to hide you.”
Before I could yell, “duck,” another little white plastic arm hurdled through the air and plopped on mom’s shoulder. Unfazed, she flicked it off with one hand while continuing to shake Mr. Potato Head with the other.
“I have never seen a person look like this ever in the United States of America! It must be visiting.”
I held back my laughter in order to affirm that possibility with a few nods, and then I just let it all out. The only thing I could think of to say between laughs was, “It’s Mr. Booger Head!”
Mom repeated what I said, shaking harder and harder. “Mr. Booger Head, Mr. Booger Head, that’s you. You are one tiny man and you look like a booger.”
Then, she started tearing off plastic parts and putting them in her mouth. A pretty decent sized red nose formed a lump in her left cheek. My worst fear was being realized … mom was eating Mr. Booger Head … one bite at a time.
I rushed over to get those little plastic parts out of her mouth, yelling, “Mom, quit trying to eat that thing! Spit it out, now!”
She looked up at me and mumbled in a matter of fact tone, “I am not trying to eat it, I am trying to kill it.”
Welcome! I'm Tom Laughon (Lawn), the primary caregiver for my 97 year old mom, Helen!
I guess you could say my mom taught me the values, mindsets and skill sets to get where I am, and now I am using all I have learned, and continue to learn, to show my gratitude and love for her at this stage in both of our lives.
My mom has sure been my champion, cheerleader, teacher and "primary caregiver" for as long as I have been on this planet. She is an amazing, joyful human!
I invite you to follow our journey ... we would love to have you hop aboard for what promises to be a ride of a lifetime!