Tag Archives: My 91 Year Old Mom

The unfolding story of mom & me at a particular age and stage in both of our lives.

This Little Light Concert – The Video

When people leave my concerts, they’re better human beings than they were when they arrived, but not because of me … not because of me. It’s because the main character of my concerts is life and life is exciting. – Facundo Cabral, Argentine Singer and Composer

Mom can play a table like Jerry Lee Lewis plays a piano.

It makes for hot licks, hot tunes and hot times in the old house tonight!

Together, Mom and I make ” This Little Light  of Mine” shine like there’s no tomorrow!

Be sure and watch mom’s famous hand-over-hand moves on the repeat of the first verse. Amazing!

So, what are you waiting for, grab yourself a table, play it in the key of G, sing along with us and enjoy this little jewel of a concert!

Warning! The hand-over-hand moves are for professional table players only. What looks simple, takes 90+ years to perfect, so you may not want to try them too fast or you could severely injure yourself, not to mention the table. 

Hair Bolts

Symbolic of life, hair bolts from our head(s). Like the earth, it can be harvested, but it will rise again. We can change its color and texture when the mood strikes us, but in time it will return to its original form, just as Nature will in time turn our precisely laid-out cities into a weed-way.

― Diane AckermanA Natural History of the Senses

Hairy Mom

I love mom’s hair. It is as white as white can be and in the morning, before I brush it, it goes every which way and then some!

Brushing it generates enough static electricity that  it mimics a high voltage lightning display … like zillions of zip zapping lightning bolts electrifying the entire universe with their dance.

You can hear the snaps, crackles and pops. You can feel its powerful, mystical forces as you tame the tangles, like weeds in an unattended garden.

Hairy Cactus

So, when I saw this little spitting image of the back of mom’s head at Strange’s Garden Center in Richmond, I had to take a closer look to see what it was, and low and behold, it was a Hairy Cactus, aka Cousin It.

I immediately gave it a new name … Hairy Mom.

I impulsively bought one for each of my daughters so that they could have a living, breathing (yes plants breathe … just not like we do) replica of their grandmother to take back to their homes in Wilmington, NC.

When they opened their gifts, both of my daughters exclaimed in unison, “It’s grama!”

It was an afterthought, but I wish I had bought them both a miniature brushes to go with their miniature gramas.

I wanted my daughters to start everyday experiencing the supernatural forces at work when they brushed the hair bolts, transforming them into lightning bolts with every stroke  …  knowing that their grama was, is and always will be a force of Nature … a force to be reckoned with.

Snap, crackle, pop …

Timelessness

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The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness; and knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream. – Kahlil Gibran 

Time stood still as I captured this image of mom and her baby and constant companion, Queen Butter Bean.

My wife, Melissa, bought the Queen for mom in November a little over a year ago and here they are in all their glory … frozen in time, forever.

Secrets of Communion

Me: Mom, what’s Communion?

Mom: Well, Communion is a very important time when everyone in church comes together. They read their bibles and then serve snacks.

Me: Is that when everyone drinks Jesus’s blood?

Mom: Some people believe it’s blood, but it’s not. What they are really drinking is something that comes in little packets.

And, you know what, my little sister, Nel, and I knew the secrets of Communion ever sense we were little bitty preacher’s kids helping mom, dad and some members of the church mix four parts water with one part Welch’s Concentrated Concord Grape Juice.

The directions called for three parts, but, after all, we were Baptist!

Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

As a kid, it was hard enough getting my head around the fact that just by stirring four parts water with frozen grape juice it transformed into Jesus’s blood, much less that his body was really made up of little square pieces of Wonder Bread.

My job was to cut the crust off each slice of bread first with a sharp knife.

My sister and I were not allowed to cut the bread into squares … mom was afraid we would cut ourselves.

And when he had given thanks, he broke it (the bread) and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

Somehow, I felt special knowing only a few trusted grown ups knew these secrets, and other than my sister and me, no kids.

Even now, I want to remind my mom that Jesus’s blood doesn’t come in packets … it comes in cylindrical containers.

For all I know, I may be the only one left who remembers these genuine, original, tall order recipes. After all, mom, you’re the one who let me in on our little family secrets and taught me how to make this magical, mystical stuff, loaded with faith and symbolism that was way beyond my grasp, once upon a time, a long, long time ago.

All I knew back then was that we weren’t just helping “build strong bodies 8 ways” … we were helping build everlasting souls.

Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”

Not Pink, Not Black, But Red All Over

Me: Mom, what color is the bible?

Mom: Pink.

Me: Pink?!

Mom: No, darker than that. Red.

It’s got to be a powerhouse color because it holds all that blah, blah, blah. It is not pink. It is red. And that’s it.

Me: Mom, have you ever seen a black bible?

Mom: No. There is no such thing. Black bibles are just red ones that are dirty. Some people use their bibles so much they just get them dirty. They don’t stop and wash their hands before they read like they should.

Me: So, mom, what color are bibles?

Mom: Bibles are all really red. I told you that … and that’s it.

Mom’s & My Delicious Cool Whip Video

If this isn’t a great commercial for Cool Whip, I don’t know what one is!

Mom and I can’t get enough of this crazy stuff.

So what are you waiting for? Get yourself a bowl of Cool Whip, a spoon and join us in doing the Cool Whip!

It’s the delicious, new hand dance that’s taking the world by storm!

Forget-Me-Not

An email from my oldest daughter, Tovi

Dear Dad,

On the ride back home to Wilmington from Richmond … I did what you know I often do…I cried and was sad pretty much the entire four hour trip.

Since I left Richmond to attend the University of South Carolina in 1990 it’s always the same. Richmond was our home, the only home I ever knew growing up and no matter where I have lived since, coming back makes me remember how much I miss it. And that why the sadness and the tears.

So my boys asked me what was wrong and I said I always get sad leaving you, grandma and Richmond and that this time was particularly hard because grandma never once called me by my name. I don’t think she really knew who I was. She did tell me I was beautiful, amazing and she was soooo excited to see me.  But, like I said, she didn’t really know who I was.

I keep telling myself grandma is 91 and has dementia, but that does not offer a lot of comfort.

Anyway..so I asked the boys which would be better: to be Ms. Mary (the elderly woman that I am a caregiver for in Wilmington), who knows her family and is grumpy and sometimes mean when they come for a visit, OR Grandma who doesn’t know who is coming to visit or for how long or what purpose, but is always so very happy? With grandma, everyone is her favorite … family, friends and strangers alike!

The boys immediately answered that it would be much better to be like grandma … to be happy is so much better!

Boy do they love her and her happy spirit, as do I. But, I grieve over her not remembering me and not knowing just how much of who I am and what I stand for is because of her.

Born Christmas Day. First Name Starts with J.

Scene: 

My mom, Helen, is going to have a birthday this month! She will be 92!

Although her birthday is Christmas day, I thought it would be fun to start getting her excited about it now.

The following conversation occurred this morning in the car on the way to Circle Center, mom’s adult daycare provider.  

Tom: Mom, there are two people who were born on Christmas Day that you have known your whole life. Who are they?

Mom: I don’t know. Who are they?

Tom: Mom, one of them was born in a manger and has a first name that starts with a J.

Mom: Jim!

Tom: Nope.

Mom: Joe!

Tom: Nope. It was Jesus, mom. Jesus was born on Christmas day!

Mom: Oh. I was going to guess Jane.

Tom: And, who was the other person who was born on Christmas Day that you have known your whole life?

Mom: I don’t know. Does it start with a J?

Tom: It starts with an H.

Mom: Well, I don’t know anybody who has a birthday on Christmas with a name that starts with H, but I know plenty who have one that begin with J.

Tom: Who, mom?

Mom: Jim, Joe, Jane and what’s-his-name.

Tom: No, mom. It’s you.

Mom: Nope. It’s Jesus! My name starts with an H.

Tom: Mom, you and Jesus have a birthday on the very same day … Christmas Day!

Mom: I don’t know about that, but I sure do know who Jesus is.

(Mom starts singing and clapping her hands)

Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world,

Red and yellow, black and white,

They are precious in his sight,

Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Mom’s Special Thanksgiving Note

When I opened the envelope addressed to Family Laughon the receptionist at Circle Center cheerfully handed me, I was not expecting the surprise that was waiting for me inside.

It was a card and the cover read, A Season of Thanks.

After opening it I found myself captured by the picture of my little mom in that big old chair, the printed message and most of all, mom’s signature!

It reminded me of when I would get cards from my daughters, Tovi and Lissi, when they were in pre-school, kindergarten and lower school. I could see their drawings, their messages and their signatures flash before me.

Those cards were priceless and so is this one from mom.

Thanks and hugs go to the magic caregivers’ at Circle Center, mom’s daycare-extraordinaire castle, club house … world.

Like I said, I love mom’s signature!

Oh, and did I also mention, I love my mom!

These are special times, make the most of them!

Make sure you give thanks to the people who are meaningful in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving … A Season of Thanks!

He’s Got the Whole World …

If you haven’t realized it by now, mom loves to sing. She always has and our family has, too.

So, it was not unusual for one or all of us to break out in song anytime, night or day. And today, at breakfast, it was no exception.

Mom transformed the spoon in her right hand from a utensil for eating cereal to a drumstick for beating on the table and started singing, “he’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands,” to the beat of her own drum.

Needless to say, I was singing harmony and clapping my hands to mom’s beat. It was a great way to kick start the day!

Minutes later, we were in the car heading to mom’s adult day care when she started singing again, and frankly my mind was on an upcoming traffic light and so I wasn’t paying attention to the song she was singing. But, when I realized she was singing He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, but with a new twist, I was fully engaged.

She was singing at top of her lungs, “he’s got the whole world in his pants, he’s got the whole world in his pants, he’s got the whole world in his pants, he’s got the whole world in his pants.”

I don’t know if the traffic light was red, green or yellow. And, before I could say anything, mom stopped singing, looked at me and said, “that’s funny.”

That’s when I started to laugh.

All I could say was, “Lord only knows, mom. What goes on in heaven, stays in heaven.”