Category Archives: life

Love with all my Heart

Posted on March 7, 2014 by Tom Laughon

Livi, mom’s great granddaughter, is ten years old, lives four-and-a-half hours down the road in Wilmington, North Carolina, and loves to write mom letters.

My role is to read the letters to mom and video her reactions for Livi to savor … forever.

So here goes Livi’s latest letter … just know you are in for a treat!

If you do the math, Livi is 84 years younger than mom, but the connection between the two of them bridges both space and time.

I call this bridge, L-O-V-E.

And, I call my role as messenger, the greatest role one could ever dream of playing.

Want more? Click Here!

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The Day Hell Froze Over

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Tom Laughon

Cold as Hell!

When a preacher’s wife, who has been on this planet in all kinds of weather for 94 years says, “It’s cold as hell,” it must be as cold as hell.

All of the weather forecasters in Richmond were unanimously proclaiming we had a record low wind chill of minus 10. Not only that, but they were teaching us a new buzz phrase for the day … the polar vortex (play scary music behind this phrase and you get the drift).

Getting past all the highfalutin weather speak and scary background music, I figured out it meant weather of biblical proportions was blowing frigid air from either the North or South Poles or both our way and it was going to freeze the holy crap out of all of us.

I even heard the forecasters throw in the word cyclone for good measure. Does Apocalypse Now come to mind? I don’t know … my mind was too frozen to think.

All I could see while on the verge of hypothermia was a sign from God and it didn’t look promising.

Hell Frozen Over

What kept me going was the fact that I had to go to work and that I had to take mom to Circle Center Adult Daycare Heaven. When I told mom we had to go, she acted like a champ.

She asked if the car was warm and I said, check.

She asked me not to take too long to walk her to the car because she didn’t want to turn into a Popsicle. I thought that was more than reasonable, so I said, check.

Then mom asked me if we could get a Slurp (mom’s word for Slurpee) on the way to Circle Center. That was the last straw. I said, no way … not while hell is freezing over, mom … not on the day hell is freezing over!

With that, we marched double time, arm in arm, to the car … thankful we weren’t turning into ice on a stick.

Note: Arrest Me!

I just noticed the picture I took of mom and I forgot to put her gloves on. Whoops! Now NSA surveillance has me on their radar.

I am doomed.

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Mom’s 94th Christmas and Counting

Posted on December 25, 2013 by Tom Laughon

Birthday Girl

“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.”– Alexander Smith

Mom’s 94th Christmas and Counting:

Counting the Christmas Day mom was born on.

Counting the number of Santa’s knees mom must have sat on.

Counting the number of Santa’s knees she took my sister and me to sit on.

Counting the number of Santa’s knees she took my two daughters to sit on.

Counting the gifts of loving, caring, sharing and giving she has brought to our family and to so many others that there are just too many to count.

Counting the memories and the smiles she magically creates for us all.

For a meaningful, wonderful, joyful Christmas, you can always count on my mom.

My mom, Helen Douglas Martin Laughon, was born on Christmas Day, 1919. I believe the old Timex watch slogan was really made for her … she “takes a licking and keeps on ticking”.

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Mom & Santa

Posted on December 21, 2013 by Tom Laughon

Next to the North Pole and home sweet home in Richmond, Virginia, Circle Center Adult Day Care Services is mom’s favorite place on earth.

And, on this magic day, Santa came all the way from the North Pole to Circle Center just to visit mom.

When he asked her if she had been naughty or nice, Mom’s answer was YES.

She also whispered to Santa that her birthday was on Christmas Day.

He asked her how old she was and she said six.

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On the Other Side of Fear

Posted on December 19, 2013 by Tom Laughon

On the Other Side of Fear

Following is a message from a friend of mine:

Tom,

I read your blog, Voluntary Leave of Absence, this morning and again now. I figured you had a lot on your plate which is why you had not written publicly for a while.  Life is not a series of merry-merry but a series of merry-merry, ah shit, maybes, commissions and omissions. Grief is always there, not just about losing folks we love but also about mistakes we’ve made, people we’re hurt, failures we’ve had. We can’t deny it, we just ride with it until something positive comes along to help relieve our pain.

It took me a long time to realize I was not omnipotent. I cannot do it alone.  I have strong faith that powers greater than me will help me through rough spots.  A lot of times I relinquish control to them and ask for help to guide me when I cannot guide myself.  Things do get better.  Bad things (and good things) pass. And we change with each passing.  It is up to us, however, to manage our attitudes and responses.

I think grief and trouble make me stronger.  If I weren’t human, I wouldn’t make mistakes. If I didn’t love, I wouldn’t grieve.  I choose to love. And cherish the memories now, not waiting until later. And accept the pain. It hurts a lot. I am so glad I’m not omnipotent. And I’m glad I’m not the same person I was.

A quote I follow all the time is “Everything you always wanted is on the other side of fear.” It is amazing how much that helps me.

Glad you’re back, although in my mind you were never gone.

Best Wishes,

Molly MacBean

Note: Molly MacBean is the Community Liaison for Circle Center Adult Day Services, otherwise know as mom’s favorite hangout in the United States of America (which to mom is bigger than the world). But, Molly is more than a title and a role to me. She has taken a genuine interest in getting to know mom … as mom is and as mom was. She has asked, listened and learned about our family. As you can see from her message above, she has been a caring, kind human, and right there with mom, our family and me on our journey over the past three years.

What Molly is, is my friend.

Speaking of friends, I want to thank all of you who follow my blog, share your thoughts and share my blog with others. I apologize for not thanking each of you personally, but know how much you mean to me. You, too, are a friend of mine.

Friends are who help each other get to the other side of fear. – Tom

   

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Death and Cookies

Posted on December 11, 2013 by Tom Laughon

The Cookie Crumbles

“If you are no longer helpful.

If you don’t do anything well.

If all you do is just sit with a cookie, then it’s time. 

And, that’s when you die.”– Mom

Me: Mom, what is dying anyway?

Mom: What is dying?

I don’t know.

I don’t know anybody who knows.

You just die.

That’s all there is to it.

The first thing you do after you die is to go find your mother.

It doesn’t matter if she is big or little.

You just go find her.

And, if you look long enough, you will.

And, that’s it.

Dying?

You don’t need to know what it is.

You just do it.

Note: Mom’s mom, Neville Watkins (1882-1927), died from complications with pneumonia at 45 when my mom, the youngest of four, was only six. My grandmother’s last words to my mom were, “You take care of yourself. I love you, sugar.” And she waved goodbye. 

Mom's Mom

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Livi’s Great Note to Her Great Grandma

Posted on December 9, 2013 by Tom Laughon

Livi is ten and one of mom’s six great grandchildren. She wrote mom a great note and sent it to Richmond, VA from her home in Wilmington, NC.

I thought it would be fun to video mom while I read Livi’s great note to her.

Little did I know it would be a one take wonder to behold.

It’s amazing just how much joy Livi’s simple act of kindness created.

Here’s video proof of what a note, call or a visit might mean to someone you know.

You don’t need a season or reason for doing it.

Why not create a little joy for someone right now.

Make a note of it!

Great Granddaughter, Livi

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Thanksgiving’s for Nappers

Posted on November 28, 2013 by Tom Laughon

Buddies Napping

Somehow I have to believe the Indians and Pilgrims who came together to create the first Thanksgiving also created the first group nap.

The two just go together.

It’s like every bite of food you put in your mouth whispers, “You’re getting sleepy. You’re getting real sleepy.”

Now, mom is no stranger to a good nap. It wasn’t the dinner that did her in, it was the desert. She went straight for the Cookies and Cream ice cream and orchestrated it so her eyes closed exactly after the last spoonful went down.

The big question … is she counting turkeys or counting sheep?

Only she knows and it looks like she’s going to keep it to herself.

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Jesus Loves Me & More

Posted on November 24, 2013 by Tom Laughon

image

Mom loves to sing.

Her favorite song is Jesus Loves Me.

When you ask her to sing a song, nine times out of ten, she belts out Jesus Loves Me … and she usually sings it spot on.

But, today, all I can say is she sang it in a totally unpredictable way.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
And he comes from Alabama
With a banjo on his knee
And he’s going to Louisiana
His true love for to see

I wish I could, but I could not make this up.

Two songs, two tunes, both from the mid-eighteen hundreds, merged together in a very unorthodox way, but merge they did.

I don’t know whether it was divine intervention or what, but I do believe mom’s creation, if accepted, would change the New Testament, and life as we know it, forever.

And, the pilgrimages to Alabama and Louisiana alone would have tourism skyrocketing through the roof … not to mention banjo sales.

Please note, I am not suggesting my ninety-three year old mom has started a holy movement.

A holy moly moment is probably more like it.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE smartphone

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Perfection

Posted on November 19, 2013 by Tom Laughon

Perfection!

Me: Mom, when I was baby, was I big or little?

Mom: You were just the right size.

You were perfection.

You did everything right.

You still do.

You don’t spit.

You know dirty words, but you don’t say them very much.

Me: [I am bent double, laughing my (sort of a dirty word) off.]

I love you, mom!

Mom: I want to thank you for your strongness [sic].

I love you everywhere I turn.

Me: [I am still in the bent double position, but mom has magically turned my laughter into joyful tears. Talk about perfection … I didn’t even see it coming. She has crafted the perfect tribute with a perfect concoction of words.]

Mom, I want to thank you for your strongness.

I love you everywhere I turn.

Mom: You’re welcome.

Strongness: Even though Google helped me find a definition for strongness, it is not considered a real Scrabble word! – Tom Laughon

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